Thursday, June 30, 2011

Present Calling

S) "But the LORD took me from following the flock and the LORD said to me, ‘Goprophesy to My people Israel." (Amos 7:15)

O) In this scripture Amos is called by God to be a prophet at that very moment. Although his gift is not to be a prophet, at that moment God "took [him] from following the flock" and CALLED him to prophesy. Prophesy was his present calling.

A) It sucks to (only now) realize how much i limit God, by pursuing things that only go along with what I'm good at or my spiritual gifts. This scripture helps me to realize that although GOD does have a plan for my life, i should always have an open/willing heart as to what He is calling me to do right now. Weather it be something out of my "spiritual gifts" or what i think my calling is. I need to be more aware of Gods voice and let the Holy Spirit move through me in anyway at anytime.

P) God. You are so great, you created the heavens and the earth, the stars and the clouds, the mountains and the animals, the Galaxy and the UNIVERSE. HOw great are you Lord, how unworthy i am to be loved by such an majestic King, YOu are amazazing and awesome. Open my eyes, and my ears to your voice, and the things unseen. Baptize me in your Holy spirit so that i may have Your strength and boldness to step outside of what Im use to doing, and do what you are calling me to do right now. Speak to me in such a way that i may know that words that are coming out of your mouth! I love you! Amen.


Wednesday, June 29, 2011

The Motive of Obedience

"Hear and testify against the house of Jacob," declares the Lord God, the God of hosts.

Amos was a sheepherder from a city named Tekoa, which was located in the Southern Kingdom of Judah, and was sent to the Northern Kingdom of Israel to prophecize against Israel. Although Judah and Israel were once one nation, in these days there were much hostility between the two nations. Jehoash, the king of Israel, had previously won a war against Amaziah, the king of Judah, and looted the temple that was in Jerusalem. Now Jeroboam II, son of Jehoash, was on the throne of Israel, and Uzziah, son of Amaziah, was on the throne of Judah; and as there was much hostility between their fathers, there was probably much hostility between them, resulting in a raise of hostility between the people of those nations. Now here is Amos, a resident of Judah, called to prophecize against Israel. Now the Bible doesn't say that Amos went because he had a passion for the people and wanted to see them restored into the Kingdom of God. It says that he went because God told him to. When Amos was confronted by one of the idol priests in Israel, Amos told him, "I am not a prophet, nor am I the son of a prophet; for I am a herdsman and a grower of sycamore figs. But the LORD took me from following the flock and the LORD said to me, 'Go prophesy to My people Israel.' Amos wasn't even a prophet. He took no vow to dedicate his life to hearing the word of the Lord. He was an everyday Israelite who just obeyed the Lord. Amos knew that being from Judah and prophesying toward the destruction and exile of Israel was dangerous and probably meant death; but he obeyed anyways, not because it was his life calling to prophesy or because he had a passion for the people of Israel, but because it was what the Lord asked of Him. As I learn about ministry in school and through this internship, there are a lot of things that I know I am gifted for and there are a lot of things that I am finding a passion for, but what happens when obedience to God means stepping outside of those realms, and what if stepping out in obedience means danger and lose of life. What then? Is my obedience to God purely based on whether or not I am gifted for it or whether or not I have a passion for it? Or does my obedience to God deal purely with whether or not he has asked me to do it? Something for me to think about...

God will not relent for my sins...


This is what the LORD says: for three sins of Damascus even for four, I will not relent... (Amos 1:3A - NIV)


I am a sinful man that need God's grace and forgiveness every single moment. Anyway, I have to face the consequences of my sins since God will not relent on that. However, I can pray like as, Psalm 80:19 that says "restore us, LORD God Almighty; make your face shine on us, that we may be saved" (NIV). And then, I may have God's favor to minimize the consequences. I will start pray right now!!!!

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

What are you running for ?

S: 2 Timothy 7-8 " I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, and I have remained faithful.And now the prize awaits me- the crown of rightousness, which the Lord , the righteous Judge,will give me on the day of His return. And the prize is not just for me but for all who eagerly look forward to His appearing."

O: What are we running for in this life? What things trully matter to God? When are life ends are we going to feel that same way Paul felt? What is this race all about?

A: Somtimes Life is full of maratons, we are running to finishing projects, tasks,events ect... All these things are important and need to get done. But what if, as we are running these race we stop and take a breath. Many times we get stressed and tired as we are working for ministry. As we continue to do all these work lets enjoy every moment of it. And bring glory to the Lord. In reality we are not doing things for people or to get recognition. We are doing all these things for that Lord so that He can be glorified.And He can see that we are faithful to him.

P: Lord, my life is in your hands, help me understand your will  for my life. I want to bring glory to you in all I do.Please forgive me if at times I get so caught up in the work of the ministry and many times forget about you. Help me to bring glory and honor to you in all I do. Amen

Do It Together!

While working on the "Do Together" project, someone reminded us of the name of the project to keep us on track. We need to do the project together. We had started becoming somewhat individualistic in our approach to accomplishing what we needed to get done, but we were reminded quite directly how this project was designed to bring us together. As we all started to get on the same page, we began to accomplish a lot in our meeting time. This project is coming together!!!

heart first.

I am sitting here in a New Hope Oahu programming meeting. They are planning for the Irresistible Church series, and they are on trait #3: an irresistible church lives heart first.
This is something that I love about New Hope. New Hope services are quite the production, done with excellence with a lot of preparation and work put into them. It would be easy to make it into a performance, losing the heart behind it. I'm sure that does happen sometimes, but a huge emphasis here at New Hope is heart. In this internship, the leaders are really focusing on developing our hearts and character, rather than filling all of our time with academics or skills training.
We can do amazing things, maybe be very "successful" in our ministry, but if we have ugly hearts, that basically nullifies everything we do. Having a heart that exemplifies Christ makes all the difference.

insanity....for Jesus

So Tj challenged me to commit to doing insanity as a way to improve discipline. I thought he was crazy for suggesting something as 'unspiritual' and vain as getting in shape to try and work on disciplining myself to the Lord.
Was I wrong. Clear as day, the pushing through that happens when I would rather quit and go rest translates into being strengthened to push through and redirect myself onto things of God when I get off-track in my daily work load, and setting my mind on Him.

It's really surprising how much more strength I have to say,"No, your mind is not going to go there, you're going to fight to align yourself with what's true and what's Him. Do NOT fall into lazy, easy, or by PA - stinkin thinkin patterns."

This has so many implications, and I am hopeful that I will continue to grow in strength and ability to stay in God's presence and not drift even when it requires a lot of discipline to stay self controlled.

Fire Side Chats

These Fire Side Chats have been such a blessing! It's amazing to see how God can work through these amazing people and do incredible things in the hearts of those listening. We were able to talk a lot about Spiritual gifts, especially speaking in tongues, and really dig deep into how we are to use it for God, and if and when we will receive that gift. God was really impressing upon my heart to be like a child again, being in wonder of the Spirit and where it's moving. So many great gems to take away!

Girl Scouts

I was raised in up in the Girl Scouts as a youth. I started as a Brownie the a Gilr Scout and then graduated to a Cadate. During those early years of Girl Scouts camps and family campouts I have developed a love of camping, and campfires. The smell of the smoke and samores and hot dogs brings back many happy memories. There is nothing like staring up into the stars at night, or listening to the crickets and frogs making thier calls at night. I Love Camping and Camp Fires!
I know in a few weeks when our Legacy time is over and the fire side chats have ceased for this group, that I will look back upon this time with great memories. Each night seating around Creighton's pool has taught me an important life lesson.
1.) Gail Fong.. There is a God who is faithful to those who trust in Him, and this faithfulness extends often to the next generations.
2.) Pastor Dave Barr taught me that even white mainlanders can be called and annoited in Hawaii. He also gets the bonus for laughter and I can not get, "I have decided to Follow Jesus" out of my head.
3.) Mike& Mauna Palampo, the jem of this nights chat was hearing how God provided for them to attend Bible collge, and how they have used that time to build a ministry of faith.
4.) Pastor John Tilton, spoke to me about the calling of excellence both in the secular work force and Christian ministry. John's honesty taught me alot about him and I appreciated it.
5.) Pastor Elwin Ahu, taught me that to enter ministry you must cry, clean bathrooms, and develop a tough spirit that is wrapped up in humility.
6.) George and Pat.. This powerful couple taught me the importance of team work as a couple and the importance of serving in ministry with a servants heart. They also set a standard of what I would love to see in my own life with my husband as we eventually become senior citizens.
7.) Pastor Mike Lwin, taught me the life lesson that you need to surround yourself with those who question you in love and who are willing to push back.
8.)Pastor Randy Furushina, taught me that God is a restorer, and faithful to love those who serve him.
I am looking forward to hearing from Pastor Wayne, Arron, Rod, Guy, and the Shima's. I pray that God will continue to bless my time at the chats to teach me.
Blessings Leslie

OGm

As a leader I've seen OGM (One Generation @ Manoa) grow since the beginning. We have always struggled with one thing or another, weather it be connecting with the kids, or lack of structure. I am so blessed to be able to work with the youth at Manoa with Elaine, and because of the different classes and wisdom received by pastors, and leader at New Hope we are able to bring solutions to different problems that the youth ministry has been facing for years. Now OGM is thriving and exceeding more than ever before, and the Holy Spirit has been working powerfully in the lives of our kids!

PRAISE DA LORDT!

Just Be...

Let no one look down on your youthfulness, but rather in speech, conduct, love, faith and purity, show yourself an example of those who believe. - 1 Timothy 4:12

I always loved this verse because in almost all seasons in my life, I am surrounded by people who are older than me and am usually intimidated by that fact. This verse always reminded me that no matter the age of those surrounding me, I should not be intimidated by them but show myself as an example. Every time that I have read this though, I always interpreted the verb "show" as "prove" and that has really thrown off the true meaning of the verse. The word for show literally in the Greek means, "to be." When Paul is telling Timothy that in speech, conduct, love, faith, and purity, show yourself an example of those who believe. He is encouraging him to "be" and example. He is not to "prove" himself an example implying that he is to strive for it, but he is to "show himself" or "be" an example, implying that it was always there and that all he need to do is reveal it. Paul is telling Timothy that God has already taught him all these things and now all he needs to do is live in them. He is not to strive for it, but to just be. For me, maybe God has not fully developed all those traits in my life. However, he has developed some of those in me along with some others that Paul does not mention. Instead of me striving for all those things and trying to prove myself, I must exist in what God has developed in me and just "be." In God's timing and in His perfect will, He will eventually develop those things in me just as He did in Timothy but it is not something that I have to pursue or try to be. Rather as I just exist in who He has created me to be today, He will use me to be an example to those who believe in the areas that He has developed me in just as I am witness to the examples set by others who have learned to exist in the areas that God has developed them in.

faith + perseverance = WINNER!!!

"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing."2 Timothy 4:7-8

I've heard this verse before and i'm glad I came back to it because it was a great reminder. I know that I serve a God that is loving, powerful, almighty and that he called me here to be on earth, to be in Legacy, to be in NHCC, to be in New Hope, to be in Hawaii, and to be part of this beautiful and amazing family. He called me to be in ministry and to be a leader and as Uncle George said, "Being a leader, you have to be a follower and you have to be wise in who are following." As God is calling me to do things for the kingdom, I need to do it whole heartedly. When He calls me to be in school I need to keep in mind when doing my homework, I need to remind myself that God called me to do this. I want to be the person that God says, "Well done, my good and faithful servant" and I want Him to know that "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race and I have kept my faith." I want to finish the race not jogging but running and persevering to win the prize, which is found in Christ!

Monday, June 27, 2011

CHOKE :)

This past Sunday I was given the responsibility to deliver the announcements, offertory prayer, as well as an into to the speaker... I CHOKED! I rushed, forgot what to say, and when I prayed I probably sounded like a child praying for snack time. lol

Normally I would tell myself that I would never do this again... But what I am learning is that this is what God wanted me to experience. God is stretching me, and having me do these things so that I can grow. He is molding me into the leader He wants me to be, I just need to make sure that I am listening to what He says. And now the next time when I am asked to do this, I know what I can prepare for and know what I have to work on. I need to speak S..L..O..W..L..Y.. and prepare my thoughts before I get up in front! BECAUSE just winging it, does not cut it! God needs my best and that takes preparation!

Children’s Ark at South Shore

Sunday morning, I got up and was ready to teach at Childrens Ark, I was so excited. We started doing worship together, we sang “I know who I am” and “ Every move I make in you”. The kids were having so much fun! Finally I began the class and all the kids were attentive and listening. At the end of the class I usually pray for the kids, but this time I felt the Lord leading me to ask the kids if they had accepted Christ in there heart. So I asked the question and three little ones wanted to accept Him. As I lead them in the prayer ,they repeated my words and accepted Christ in there heart. The three kids that accepted were so excited, because Auntie Leslie told them that in heaven God was having a huge celebration because they accepted Christ in there heart. What a wonderful experience to see children love God so much and are willing to accept Him.

Jesus said,” Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” Matthew 19:14

Climbing to the Top

Today my wife, a couple of friends, and I hiked the Diamond Head Crater. I was ready with my hiking shoes and bottle of water to take on this hike. Eventhough it is not the hardest hike, it does have some steep stairs that get your heart pumping and your legs shaking. I was focused on getting to the top and take pictures of the great scenery. After about 25 minutes of hiking we finally got to the top and the view was breath taking; It was worth the hike. As I started to hike down, my wife got ahead of me, and I found myself alone. I started to look around and saw beautiful scenerey that I had missed on the way up. I was so focused on reaching the top that I missed out on breath taking views along the way, and in that moment the Lord spoke to me. In life we get so caught up in reaching our destination that we miss the beauty of the journey. We miss the great lessons along the way that make us stronger. God is more interested in the journey than in the destination! It is in the journey that we see God at work in our lives. It is in the journey that God molds and equips us! We must learn to enjoy the journey and worry less about reaching the top. When we do this, the joy of reaching the top will be greater than we would have expected!

some questions on balance

Tj and I were talking yesterday, and he said something that struck me.
In regards to discipleship, "You can get to a right place, but if other sheep aren't coming with you, what's the point?"

What are the use of
disciples
who sit in a monastery for their entire life?

Transforming towards Christlikeness is the best thing we can do in life, right?
But where is the balance between investing in our relationship with God but also trying to help others grow. Is it ok to say often, "No i'm just gonna spend time with God." Do we overstep the call of an others/Kingdom-focused life when we choose to withdrawal so that we can be filled and that we can be discipled by God privately? Selfishly?

Is there an appropriateness to forfeiting personal joy in God to willingly go back into darkness to make sure other sheep are growing too? (what about the Christian Hedonist and the argument that the sole purpose of existence is to worship God and enjoy Him) Are we supposed to sacrifice our energy towards growing in oneness with Christ so that others can make steps in their relationship with Him? Is that denying ourselves? Will our truly transformed lives result in divine strength and a divine draw towards others?

Shepherding seems draining in this light. It makes me admire Jesus. how frustrated must he have been in the garden when the disciples kept falling asleep and weren't aware of the seriousness of what was approaching. For Him to have the intimacy with the Father that He did, it must have been so challenging to put up with those who weren't on the same page as Him.
How excited do we get when we can have a conversation with someone who is in a similar season as us? When we are able to discuss and share and grow in the forefront things that God is showing us and revealing to us along our journey. Those are exciting. But it's hard for me to desire to go have a conversation with someone who's not there yet (and that statement even sounds prideful).

God I'm so sorry that I'm so obsessed with my growth and what I'm learning about you. Will you show me the balance you would have me walk in this.

Psalm 31:24

Psalm 31:24
So be strong and courageous, all you who put your hope in the Lord!

I was not having a great day yesterday (6/26/11). I had so much to do and I was out of it. I walked home after serving at NHH. I reached for my binder, I had in Oregon and stumbled upon a note. I received this note, during finals week. Anthony gave me Ps. 31:24 and I hadn't seen it before. When I read it I was in awe. That verse didn't hit me until today. I am in a season of learning to be dependent on God. Not friends or family or teachers, but Him. It's hard for me because I did that in Oregon, all because He was all I had. I had no family. Now I am home; its hard because I have family, friends, anyone. I learned that I have strayed from depending on Him, since I got home. This scripture was read at His timing, because if I read it in Oregon, it wouldn't encourage me much. But wow; Lord thank you for the wake up call today! Praise you Lord!

A Day at Quest: What An Adventure!

Today I got the blessing to share the Word with the youth at New Hope Leeward's Quest weekend services.

Before the time arrived for me to preach, I was in the youth office, pacing back and forth. I was slightly worried and afraid. I kept saying to myself,

What am I doing?!

I am not ready...

I can't do this....

Maybe I should just not speak and have everyone do a Bible study."

It was difficult because I was so convinced that I couldn't communicate, let alone talk to the youth. I mean, this was the first time I'd be speaking in front of younger group of people. I got scared that I wouldn't be able to connect with them effectively.

So, I'm pacing back and forth in the office. I take a deep breath and walk into the mini auditorium.

8:3o AM. First service.

Here we go, Zachary. Brace yourself. Get ready.....

During worship, I'm just praying intensly,

"God, help me to love these youth. I love them so much and I want to speak your message to them whom I love very much! I can't speak unless there exists in me a genuine love for them."

Aaaaaaand it was okay. I struggled a bit with trying to speak and connect with the youth. So I got some help from Pastor Jarrod to sort of "beef" up my message and make it more engaging to the youth. I got help from a Ashley, who made some PowerPoint slides and Preston helped me switch to a Lav mike.

10:00 AM. Second service.

I'm again in the youth office, pacing back and forth. And I feel a tinge of failure and regret going on in my mind,

"Zach, you could've done better. You could've done better! You need to be more prepared! Get a hold of yourself!"

So I kept praying and crying out to God (coincidentally, my message was on James 4:8, drawing close to God in tough times).

So I take a deep breath and head back into the mini auditorium.

And worship this time was a different from the first service. I could feel the Holy Spirit. It was heavy and deep in the room. It was so powerful and heavy, that one of the kids fell down and collapsed onto the ground. It alarmed some of the kids who tried to help him up.

I was the back and thinking to my self,

"God, what is going on? What do I do? Am I supposed to do something to help him?"

And I just got a ,"Just leave him there. Let the Holy Spirit work work in him right now."

So I got a little freaked out, as this was right before I got up to speak!

But after finishing speaking, I was shocked by how things flowed more smoothly. I talked to some of the youth and they said, "good message!" or "I liked the message!"

And lastly....11:30 AM. Third service.

Instead of going back into the office before I was to speak again, I waited in the lobby of the church. I was just pacing back and forth there.

"God, this is the last service today. I need you to be here and help me with this. I can't do this by myself!"

Pacing back and forth...and then I finally entered the mini auditorium.

Now, I found out that one of the friends would be sitting in the service and wanted to hear the message. This made me worry a little more, because I thought,

"Oh no....am I going to preach it well? Will he be impressed by the eloquent points I make? I don't him to think I'm a heretic or a false teacher spitting out lies, haha."

But I just pushed those thoughts aside and just preached.....

It was over. Finally did it!

After finishing up, the LORD spoke to me and said,

"Zach, do you understand why I had you preach? You could have spoke more eloquently, you could have done a better job, you could have included more humor and illustrations...but the main thing I wanted you to do was to speak the message I had for them. Even if it was for one person or 20...I just wanted you to speak the message I wanted you to speak.

There were some lessons I learned from today:

1) I still need to work on my preaching and communication skills. Wow, I still have allllllot to learn and practice!

2) I can't do it by myself, as it is the Holy Spirit who works in me. I can try to preach eloquent sermons, but that will never reach, teach, or speak to people's hearts.

3) I need to make sure I have a genuine love for the people/audience that I will speak in front of. If I lack that, then I don't deserve to be in front of them speaking.

4) Ministry is draining. After speaking through three different services, my voice was a little strained and my body was exhausted.

5) God will prepare me ahead of time when He wants me to minister or speak. I may not recognize it or I may think in my mind that I'm completely lost and unprepared, but God will prepare me in time for His timely message.

This experience has really helped me understand a glimpse of what ministry is. And despite all the hard work, stress, and the times that God brings me to step out way beyond my comfort zone....

I am satisfied and enjoy it. God has called me to a calling and life of full-time ministry.

I'm willing and ready, Lord. I'm willing and ready. :)


God desires to set the captives free

S-----2 Timothy 2: 24-26, 24 And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. 25 Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, 26 and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will.

O----- Christians need to not be quarrelsome with each other or others. They need to be kind loving , teaching, and not being resentful. Gently instructing their opponents in the hope that God will bring them to repentance which brings them to truth. This truth will bring them to their senses and rescue them from the traps and tricks that satan lays before them, resulting in them being held as prisoners.

A-----I need to walk in the spirit of truth and love being gentle and loving in all I say and do. Hoping in my submission and reliance on God people will be drawn to him seeing the truth. I need to be aware of my actions and words making sure that they match my calling. I need to be aware thet satan is out there like a roaring lion looking for Christians to devour.

P----Lord help me to remain diligent about being gentle and kind. Loving my brothers and sisters and all others not arguing but loving them into the kingdom. Lord fill me afresh each morning with your Holy Spirit so that I can help to share your truth and love with those in captivity setting them free in Jesus name.

the joy of the Lord is my strength. :)

This weekend, I had the AMAZING opportunity to sing on the worship team at New Hope Honolulu. It was unlike anything I'd ever experienced before. FIVE services, TWELVE vocalists, live online streaming, plus TV and DVD....it was all new to me. And I never thought I would get the privilege of being a part of it. I knew there were plenty of amazingly talented people here, and I never expected that I would be able to be on team. But I am so thankful that God worked it out. :) The team was so welcoming and I loved every minute of it. I don't know if I have ever had so much joy singing on stage before! I was in awe of how good God is and His amazing grace and love. He has done so much in my life, and I know I would be nothing without Him. What joy, what peace for those whose confidence is in the name of the Lord!

Sunday, June 26, 2011

:D = :D


II Timothy 1:7

I heard that God gave us power and love so many times but I don't remember to hear that He can give us self-discipline. I think self-discipline is very important. Also, I am trying so hard to manage my time that means self-discipline to me. As a result, I can spend more time with God as Im managed my time better. 
GOD               Amanda
:D         =          :D

Green Lantern Movie


I watched the movie GREEN LANTERN http://greenlanternmovie.warnerbros.com with amazing people from the Edification and Equipping Team last week. I really liked the movie also some ideas pop up in my mind as I was watching the movie.



First - "to fight this enemy the ring chose a human" (Sinestro).
John 15:16 says "You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you".

Second - As Hal Jordan was chose to be the new Green Lantern and received the ring he doesn't know how to use the powerful weapon that was available to him.
Ephesian 6:14-17 says "Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God".

Third - "remember your enemy is not gonna play fair" (Kilowog)
Ephesian 6:12 says "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms".

God chose me to fight to His kingdom and to bear fruit that means build up people through His grace. Plus, He has given me a full armor to fight that I don't know how to properly use. Also, one of my favorites weapon from the full armor is the "the shield of faith" because faith is based on dependence and if I depend on God who is the almighty one my shield is almighty too.
My enemy will not played fair because my enemies come from the spiritual forces of evil.
In conclusion, I have fear because of my flesh like as, Hal Jordan but I will fight till the end because "for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose" (Philippians 2:13 - NIV).





Saturday, June 25, 2011

POWER,LOVE,SELF-DISCIPLINE

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love and self-discipline.”  
 2 Timothy 1:7
   In the morning when I was doing my devotions the Lord directed my attention into this passage. There have been many times that I have feared and felt timid. This is somthing I’ve always had a problem with, I always get nervous and shy or even felt unworthy at times to do things for the God. Its a constant battle that I have given to God. I can say that as I given this issue to God ,its amazing how much I have improved. Although I have a long way to go, God is in control.
   God doesn’t desire us to fear or to feel timid, but he want us to have power in his name, love to thoses that surround us and self-disciple eventhough this is very hard at times. But all this things will help us become better leaders, teachers, Pastors and  awesome followers of Christs.

just stop.

I still fall into trying to be a good Christian:(
I'm learning that's a seriously dangerous goal. Beneath that seemingly good goal, is a performance, 'me-focused' understanding of walking with God. It reveals my misunderstanding that I have to do stuff well - I don't, I can't. If I really understood how free I am by the cross ALONE - and how my performance seriously has nothing to do with God's love and affection for me. I would live differently.
I had a breakdown on Friday and it was the culmination of try, try, try harder, try to figure it out, try to piece it together, try, try, NOT WORKING!
I am living by the false gospel that says, "Billy, make sure you nail this presentation at Children's ark today...make sure you say the right things when you meet with this guy today...make sure you affirm 8 (not 6) people today...make sure you don't spend more than x amount on food this month...blah blah blah."
I am seeing that the things most forefront on my mind over the past year or so have been things having to do with the Gospel, but not the heart of it. Things relating to Christ, things that can better my relationship with Him, spiritual disciplines that have to do with Christ, spending time with community that also loves Christ...but it hasn't been Christ Himself. Community is flawed, disciplines are flawed, small groups are flawed, services are flawed, Christian books are flawed. Christ is not flawed. Neither is the cross(Heb 10:14).
I am seeing how easily it is to fall into setting my mind on things other than Christ's cross. It is the most important thing to ever happen, and there is no better thought for me to set my mind on than that. When i sit on it, I am reminded of my sin, and I can temporarily see the frailty of trying. It - out of love - affirms that "Billy, apart from me you can't do anything. Literally nothing. Apart from me humanity is screwed. But because I love you. I made a way, offering renewal and regeneration."

'And I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes and be careful to obey my rules.
Ezekiel 36:26-27

Father, I can't walk in your statutes. I try and try and fail and fail, I'm sick of it. I feel like my walk has led me to give up - and I feel like that's a good thing. Would you help me give up and just press into You who will never deny my seek. Would you captivate me so that I am able to sit at your feet and wait, aiming to live obediently while you refine my heart. Will you give me the strength to endure the many, many withdrawals of my flesh as my heart is transformed in You. You are so good, Lord. Truly soo far beyond all comparison.

Time

Time is the biggest thing that has been going through my mind lately. Sometimes I feel like their were more hours in a day not only for work but for sleep as well. Managing time has not been a problem for me throughout the years until now. The Lord has really worked through and with me in this internship. He has stretched me in a lot of areas that I was weakened in. Legacy basically showed me life in ministry and how important it is to stay in the word because that is the basic foundation that will grow me into the women God intended me to be. In Ephesians 5:15-16 says, "Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil." I believe that time is a gift from God and I need to seize every opportunity and to live diligently for Him!

Mind Body and Soul

It is amazing to me how pain can actually feel good in the right circumstances. Pain when you know it is bringing wanted change, growth, or needed results is a good thing. Sometimes pain can be a meter of the results such as the pain associated with Tate's Saturday morning work outs. It hurts but you know it is a good pain. The pain associated with spirituial growth often is hard to understand at times but can be as simple as losing sleep or play time to do your devo's or spend time with the Lord. It may also be as hard as a broken relationship, loss of job or life struggles of any kind. May desire is to learn to embrace pain and allow it to bring growth and dependance on God and his GRACE!
Blessings Leslie

Leadership


This week was probably the most difficult week for me so far. Legacy has surfaced a lot of my low planks, and has constantly pushed me into building more of my character. I struggle with a lot of things that is required for a leader, and through paddling God opened my eyes to the importance of character and leadership. I remember that morning wasn't a very great morning for me, I realized how much low planks I had, and put myself in "victim" shoes. When we arrived to Sand Island we were assigned and explained different seats in the canoe. Seat 1 was the stroker or the paste setter, all the other paddlers in the canoe follow the paste of the person in seat one, if the leader slacked then the whole canoe slacked. Seat 2 is usually the one who calls the counts and informs the leader and the paddlers when to switch sides. Seat 3 and 4 is the power source of the canoe. Seat 5 is part of the power source, yet more of support. Seat 6 is the steersman, seat 6 is the person who steers the canoe into the direction it is suppose to be going. Uncle Lono chose me to be Seat 1, in my head I was thinking, "Oh no, I'm going to let everyone down and fail. I cant lead this canoe. Im not in shape Im going to get tired fast, the last time I paddled was like two years ago!". The first time we went out to paddle I did it with doubt in my mind, I couldn't focus, and my paste was off. I thought that when we were done, uncle was going to take me out of the boat and let someone else be stroker, but sure enough he left me in seat 1. It was the second round and before we started I prayed, I asked God to reveal something to me or to say something because I just had so many doubts in my head, not just about paddling but life in general. Continuing to pray, I felt God nudging at my heart as to where I was placed in the canoe. Seat 1, I was chosen to be the leader of the canoe. Although very inexperienced, I still had to paddle because if I didn't everyone else would fail as well. Then I started to think about how paddling paralleled to my life. As soon as God revealed that to me, he continued to reveal his calling for me and why it was important for me to step up and be the leader that he MADE me to be. I am not alone I have people who call me out (seat 2) who are like my mentors, people who support me and push me into going toward the direction that God has for me (seats 3-5) who are like my accountability partners/sisters and brothers in Christ, and God steering (seat 6) using the people around me to speak into my life and support me on my journey. I just gotta keep on paddling and focus on the destination and direction God is pointing me in.

My flaws were revealed earlier that day, but revelation of my future was revealed too.

PRAISE DA LORDT!

The God of Grace

Recently I have been reading a book (assigned by my campus Pastor Brandon) called How People Grow: What the Bible Reveals About Personal Growth by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend.

The book has been a good read so far....until I read the chapters on Independence and Grace. It discussed more in depth the topics that Aaron Nunez was teaching in our Character skills class.

The stuff was heavy.

As I read the pages that spoke about the word "GRACE," I started feeling convicted. What I thought all this time grace meant, was minuscule in comparison to what the authors gave for the true definition of grace.

I've always thought that the whole idea of grace and God's grace was just forgiveness. I admit my sin or what I did wrong, He forgives, and then I strive to do better.

But grace is much more than that!

It's much more than forgiveness.

There are two implications given within the definition of God's grace (unmerited favor):

1) Favor means that God is for us and not against us. He is on our side and desires good for us and not evil.
2) His favor cannot be earned, or even if it could be, we do not have the means with which to earn it. We cannot merit it. Therefore He will freely give us things we cannot provide for ourselves.

And then the authors asked if you're living under a God of Law...or under a God of Grace?

It all comes back to how you view God.

I was convicted right there reading those pages, paragraphs, sentences, and words.

I never understood what it really means to believe and live under a God of Grace. This whole time, throughout my life, I've tried to please people, please God and do things. And the time when I failed, I would wallow in my guilt and just say,"LORD, forgive me of my sin. I will do better next time. I'll do even more to try to please You."

But even though I'm a Christian, there are times where I automatically default to trying to please God by doing "things" or doing this or that. Or I get so down on myself for failing in something and become scared because of this failure and try to hide from friends, people, and ultimately God.

Living under a God of Law caused me to run AWAY when I failed or was going through a tough time.

But I must remember that I'm living under a God of Grace.

One I can run too and embrace after I failed and don't know what to do.

Someone I can draw closer in my weakness and realize the reality I am living instead of living in denial of the reality of who I am and what went wrong.

As I finish typing this, I am in just crying in tears, because grace is a word I heard all the time and a word I know.

But now...

"Grace" is word I'm beginning to understand.


Friday, June 24, 2011

The True Heart of South Shore

Today we had the opportunity to spend some time with the Pastors of New Hope South Shore, Pastor Richard and Mary Waialeale. We went to have luch in “China Town” and had a great time of fellowship. It was awesome to see them out of the “church” atmosphere. Pastor Richard took us to Homeless Food Shelter, where the South Shore campus feeds the homeless every tuesday evening and saturday afternoon. He gave us the background of how the ministry started and the great need that there is in Hawaii to reach out to the homeless. It is amazing what New Hope South Shore is doing and how they are bringing the Gospel to the homeless. We were able to see the heart of Pastor Richard for the homeless in Hawaii, and that passion is transmitting to us! What was more relevant in this time was too see how humble and transperant these Pastors are. It is something that I want to imitate. Pastor Richard and Mary truly demostrate the heart of New Hope everywhere they go, and we hope we can start imitating this now.

Discipline.

Yesterday (06/23/11) I had been corrected by Jules. But of course, she was talking to everyone else as well. But I left fuse west early, and I can't check it off my accountability log. I left early to share with my cousin about the service and this timing; it was a total God thing. In my mind, while with my cousin "I am going to get grilled for this." But I was all right with it. Now when Jules told me I couldn't check off Fuse, I wanted to just leave. Truth is I don' t like correction or discipline, whatsoever. So the day went on, we went paddling. God didn't say anything to me, until I walked to the car. He told me, "Do not neglect discipline." This is God revealing to me, and He knows I will obey Him. So I have accepted the discipline and I see this season, as God disciplining me through people around me. Also He is testing the intentions of my heart, to see if I will depend on Him. Well, thank you Jules for over stepping your "kuliana" to correct me.

Imagine a Canoe...

When in a canoe each paddler plays an important role in making the canoe go forward. If one becomes out-of-sync, paddling for everyone else gets harder. When each paddler can trust and follows instruction from another, unison amongst the canoe happens and the boat flows across the water easily. Even when the weather gets rough and the ocean tides start picking up, the canoe of paddlers get through it as long as they work together. THIS IS THE CHURCH!

Having this interactive element allowed me grasp that the church cannot rely on one person, the church needs to be made up of different leaders in all areas to help it grow. I need to keep myself accountable and make sure that I keep up with the rest of the leaders, I do not want them to be working harder because they have to compensate for me lacking. I need to give my all in everything that I do, I need to play my part!

Worthy of Love

Gob brought me all the way from Brazil to Hawaii for a reason. Ok, you probably heard this so many times from the interns but today when was talking to a friend that calls Amanda too makes me remember what my name means:
Amanda is a Latin female gerundive name meaning "having to be loved," "deserving to be loved," or, simply, "worthy of love."
God, I got it! 
All that I am living right now is just because your LOVE for me! 

I was looking for a scripture that talks about the Love of God for me and I think that there is no one better then this that talks about the sacrifice of Jesus for us. John 3:16
I Love you Lord!

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Oh, Aaron

I think I had a hope deflated today. It wasn't a bad thing that it happened, because it was a hope that wished for something that just isn't how God works. It was a hope that one day, after enough seeking I would just 'get it.' A hope that I would one day, somehow, someway develop a process, a schedule, a prayer, a discipline, an obedience, SOMETHING that would allow me to STAY in the Spirit, and stay walking in close intimacy with God, un-intruded by flesh.
Well, that's not it, Billy. Although there's a quick-fix for everything else in life - there's not one that replaces the slow, steady pursuit towards holiness.

Father, I pray that you will begin guiding me away from thinking that one day I'll get it. Would you give me an understanding that it's a long journey, not a 'get through this day' or 'get through this month' but a 'get through this life, close to you. I pray that you would let me know how much I already have it through the cross, but how it's not just a one-time acceptance of grace, but rather a continual, daily, in-struggle and joy alike, "Yes" daily.

Grace, redefined.

Grace was taught today. We were discussing about how would we jump from "independence" to "dependence." The bridge is built by grace. It was jam packed of information. Well, I got this in my mind, when we had our 40min break. God's grace was with me, on this day 19 years ago in the ICU of Kapiolani Hospital. I told God today, how I was ashamed of my life testimony. But I am not ashamed and willing to share about my testimony. I know God could have not save me, but He did. For that I am forever grateful. Grace is given everyday, and I will not take it for granted no more.

Ephesians 6

Three commands from Ephesians 6:

Be strong in the Lord! We serve and are children of a very powerful and loving God, and we can use our rights as children of the King to get the upper hand on the enemy.


I need to be aware of all the armor of God. I should put it on daily. Each piece will help me walk in a more full commitment to the Lord's path of righteousness.


I need to be in constant prayer. Prayer never ceasing, prayer in the Spirit. This constant communication with God will help me express gratitude and strengthen my faith in Him

Ask you to come near and then run away

I CANNOT see, for I am deaf, dumb, and blind.
I ask for your wisdom, as I open my mind.

Lord you know I want to know and do your will;
but I often turn to what I feel.

I seek your wisdom, mercy and grace;
I do not want my life to be a waste.

I cry out for more of you night and day;
In truth it is not always for your use, I
want to have my say and do things my own way.

How I long to rest in your arms, allowing my heart to open up and shine;
knowing you will always be mine.

My mind says you are good, honest, and you have a plan,
my heart says he is like every other man.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Rush hour!

For me this week, I have a lot of things going on. From preparing a message, to serving at different ministries, and even working on a big project.

Busy, busy, busy!

But I don't want to lose the heart of everything. I can do, do, do...but I can never let those things define who I am.

I must constantly always ask myself:

Why am I doing this?

I must never forget why I am doing these things for the Lord, instead of just going through the motions and performing them like a mindless robot, droning with instructions and no heart.

It's a thrill! It's a rush! It's a high-paced run!

But I'll keep persevering...

And I know....

HE will be waiting at the finish line.

It Starts Now!

He must be one who manages his own household well, keeping his children under control with all dignity (but if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God?) - 1 Timothy 3:4-5

Paul is writing to Timothy to explain to him the requirements of being a deacon or overseer in the church. This whole chapter was a description of what a deacon or overseer should look like in regards to his character, his household and his life outside of the church. One of the things that Paul says is that an overseer must be one who manages his household well because how can he take care of the house of God if he cannot even take care of his own household? I always saw this as a good verse to come back to once I get married and one that I should really meditate on once I start having kids, but I am realizing that who I am now will determine the condition of my household tomorrow. My characteristics, traits and habits now will define my household. I have to be intentional now to start building the household that honors God and is under His control because ultimately the household starts with me, and if I get into a marriage or start a family when I, as an individual, am not under control in terms of my character and habits, then how can I expect to manage a family.

Josh, it starts with you. Your discipline, your integrity, your character, your prudence and diligence now is going to determine what kind of foundation your family and household is one day laid upon. Therefore, be intentional about everything.

ARMOR OF GOD

Ephesians 6:10-17
"10
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God."

This Sunday I was given the honor of talking to the Youth Group at Manoa. I talked a lot about the armor of God and why it was important to always have it on. While preparing for the message I knew that the kids at New Hope Manoa were very visual learners, so i decided to Google the "Armor of God" and this picture is what came up. I thought that it was awesome... It's cool to think that every time we have on the "full armor of God" we (not literally but spiritually) wear this everywhere. I would totally walk around in this armor though, that's how awesome it is.

PRAISE DA LORT!

Grace

"12 I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength, that he considered me trustworthy, appointing me to his service. 13 Even though I was once a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man, I was shown mercy because I acted in ignorance and unbelief"(1 Timothy 1:12-13)

This scripture is very convicting to me. God has seen me as trustworthy enough that he placed me here in Legacy. He trusted me to be "on the ball" and hard working. I know that I struggle with being trustworthy, and responsible, yet God shows mercy and has seen hope in me. By not giving my all in this program I'm not only letting the people around me down, but I'm also letting Him down as well. He knows I can do better, if I at least tried. In Ephesians 4:1 God shows me that I shouldn't live off of other peoples expectation, but to live a life worthy of what God has called me to live. "1 As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received." (Ephesians 4:1).

It's time to suck it up and buckle down. LEGGO!
PRAISE DA LORT

seek and ye shall find...

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." - Jeremiah 29:11-13 (NIV)

Like I said in my last blog, I don't know what my calling is anymore. But I find hope in these verses. God has plans for my life. If I call on Him and pray, He WILL listen to me. If I seek Him with all my heart, I WILL find Him. God will reveal in His timing. I just need to seek Him with my whole heart.

Firesite Chat with George and Pat Iranon

Tonights firesite chat was full of wisdom and knowledge from uncle George and auntie Pat. They talked about what type of qualities a leader should have. One thing that really stood out to me  is being a “Servant Leader”. Uncle George described a “Servant Leader” as someone that is not always in authority but guiding and building other leaders. A “Servant Leader” is also someone that does things with JOY for the Lord, eventhough at times they will not like the responsiblites. I want to have that “Servant Leader” heart for the kingdom of God. Lord please cause me to have a heart like this so I can be a servant to you and others but also lead them to you.

Philippians 4:6-7

Prayer is such and AMAZING blessing! Before I spoke on Sunday I prayed, asking Jesus to just cast out all my worries and nerves before I spoke.

Philippians 4:6 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."

Jesus answered my prayer!

Philippians 4:7 "And the peace of God which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

While I was speaking I wasn't nervous and I was really able to share my heart. I am so blessed to have a God who loves me so much to give me so many opportunities to serve Him. He answered my prayer that day in so many ways! :)

Monday, June 20, 2011

Hidden Arrogance

Come now, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, and spend a year there and engage in business and make a profit." Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away. Instead, you ought to say, "If the Lord wills, we will live and also do this or that." But as it is, you boast in your arrogance; all such boasting is evil. - James 4:13-16

James is talking about how we need to humble ourselves in order for God to exalt us. He talks about things that we should avoid in chapter 4 and honestly most, if not all, of the things that he instructs us to avoid can find its root in arrogance or pride. Before at the start of verse 13, I saw it as a shift in topics. He was shifting from avoiding arrogance to not making plans on your own. However, this time I happened to catch verse 16 and how it was a continuation of the previous thought. Verse 16 says, "But as it is, you boast in your arrogance; all such boasting is evil." I never thought of making my plans on my own would be considered arrogance but it is. It is almost like a hidden arrogance. By making my own plans, I am essentially telling God by my actions that I don't need to take in consideration what He would have for me but that I am going to do what I want to do. It is not the outright spoken arrogance that we are used to but rather a discreet and hidden arrogance. Right now, my friend and I are planning to move off campus senior year to Pasadena and get an apartment with a few other people. For me that sounds like an excellent idea but I have never actually considered what God may want. I have almost said verbatim what James was saying about the person who was planning his own life. I need to really start relying on the Lord more instead of trying to plan out my own life and make it happen.

Lord, thank you for revealing this to me and for allowing me to see an issue that I didn't even know I had. Help me to seek you more and to come to you for everything. Thank you Lord. I love you.

THANKS JC!

Philippians 4:4 "Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say rejoice!

The preparation for this past youth Sunday lacked me rejoicing. I forgot what the purpose of what Sunday was all about... Jesus! It wasn't till Friday that I couldn't take the stress anymore and told my self, "Give it to God" trust in Him and He will provide (funny because my message was about trusting in him abiding to his purpose). I started to relax and just have fun and work with a heart of love and thanksgiving. Its so much better to rejoice in the Lord, then trying to impressing Him, which is super hard cause...HE IS PERFECT!

He casted all my anxieties away, THANKS JC! :)
-Stephan




Pastor Randy Furushima ---> Level Up!

Pastor Randy...amazing! He talked about his testimony and I was simply blessed and encouraged. He shared about oppourtunities, and how we can have them. But are we called out for them? I was in awe. Well Pastor Randy, shared about how he was in the mainland. How he came back home because of family, and he felt it was a set back. I was in this predicament. I just needed to hear his testimony. Well I asked him a question, on why us Hawaii people think its a "set back" when we come home. He just told me, its our mind set. He is totally right. Then he told me to find people to pray for me. Now next day is Level Up. Wow 5am? Praise The Lord! So Pastor Creighton said, "Take the mask of obedience off, and show how you don't want to obey." He spoke about me. We prayed on our knees. It didn't sit right with me. So I seen Zach lay down. I felt lead to lay down and right there, I let loose and had it out with God! Hanabuddah (snot) and tears going on. I told Him, how hard it is to let go of school. How I want to be elsewhere, how I want so much things. Last thing I cried out to Him, "Please never leave me alone, don't abandon me Please!" I absolutely had it out with God and He let me go and turn into Prophet Jeremiah (weeping prophet). After I told Him my heart, I laid back down and He came to me. He kneeled and let me breathe. I felt Him just touch my head, and He let me just breathe. I love how God is so patient with me.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

opportunities...

Uncle John Tilton talked with us last week about seizing opportunities, and God will use those experiences to prepare us for the future He has for us.
The next fireside chat, Pastor Randy Furushima talked with us about the difference between opportunities and calling. The opportunities that are available to us are not always God's best.
When I came into this internship, I thought I had a pretty good idea what my calling was; music ministry, and I was pretty sure that wasn't worship leading. Now... don't know what my calling is. There are so many options of what I could do, or what God could want me to do. Right now, I have no idea. But the cool thing is, I don't have to know. God knows the plans He has for me. He is in control and knows way better than I do. :)
God is putting so many more opportunities in front of me than I ever expected here. I never thought I would be on stage at all, because I figured there were enough talented people that already had it covered. But in the past week, I have been on the worship team three times, with more scheduled. I don't know if God is calling me to worship leading, but I am going to seize the opportunities God is giving me, and we shall see how He directs! :D

Children's Ark

New Hope Manoa's main focus was to work and invest more in their Children's Ark. That was the main alert that needed to be taken care of because the kids weren't getting much out of it and it was more like babysitting. Today was a new day and we started to change some things around like seperating into 3 different groups according to their age. We prayed, we worshiped and we shared one thing we LOVE about our fathers. I asked one of my girls, Kalehua Fung (7yrs), "What is one thing you love about your dad?" and she replied, "He says YES more than mom!" LOL! These kids are just as important as we are. I was able to take care of the kids ages 7-11 and it was a blessing to see how hungry they were to know about this God that loves just as their own father loves them. After setting up and breaking down, God really had his hand upon this children's ark as we were working. He is a God of order and a God that loves. It is so important to feed our kids spiritually because that's the start of knowing who God is and building a foundation as they're growing!

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Independent thoughts what does it mean?

I need to write about last wednesday since it was a tough day like as, every wednesday to me.

Character Class w/ Mr. Nunez is a challenge. Also, Mr. Nunez is a transparent man of God who teaches with love and authority but I don't like that class because all of my answers are wrong or too shallow. So, I definitely don't like to be wrong or shallow

Come on!!!!! I am a NHCC student also I was selected to be part of the Legacy Program. My english is not perfect although I can think or I consider myself a THINKER...... I am a rational man who loves God with all of my heart. Also, I have independent thoughts, which seek God all the time.....

Independent thoughts what does it mean? INDEPENDENCE! Woo-woo, sin means INDEPENDENCE. Plus, it is the root of all sin. The Apostle Paul had written a lot about sin since many verses pop up in mind. As a result, I finally realized that he wrote a lot about that because he had struggled with that until his last days (Philippians 1:21).
He didn't write that because he had accomplished all and became totally dependent on GOD because own desires can mean independence, which is the root of sin. However, he wrote "for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose" (Philippians 2:13). I believe that he wrestled with his desires and it had hurted him a lot because he had deep knowledge and he wanted to be totally dependent on GOD.

My thoughts still disconnect and I will submit them to God!!!

Friday, June 17, 2011

Worship Painting

video
I like to draw and paint a lot. Unfortunately, I have never thought about worship God drawing or painting. 
Pastor Rod asked me if I could paint or draw in the mid-week service. So, I got a little scary because I have never done this before but I loved the idea since I love to worship God.
When I was painting the Holy Spirit was there and felt his presence. Also, I know that God received my worship painting.
That was a amazing! Thank you Joaquim to help me with everything and thank you Pastor Rod to  encourage me.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Firesite Chat with Pastor Randy

What an amazing time that we had with Pastor Randy. He shared to us his tesimony and how he was called into ministry. I had a great revelation while Pastor Randy was sharing about the “call” into ministry. He shared that many times there are many great “opportunities” but God might not “call” us into these opportunities! One thing that impacted my life, of Pastor Randy’s testimony, was that before you get called in you must be called out! God will call you out before he reveils what you must do next. Our duty is for us is to trust in God in spite not knowing where God is directing. Pastor Randy’s life is a great example of having complete trust in God. Could it be that through LEGACY God might be calling me out of something, instead of my original thougth of Him calling me into ministry? Wow! I am not sure what the answer might be, and thats ok, but I know that my duty is to trust God through this season. The time with Pastor Randy was life changing. It was a moment in time where God literally spoke to my heart. I thank God for, LEGACY, and all the Pastor’s that are speaking life into our lives.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Total Conviction...yet again.

Aaron yet again taught another deep lesson. He discussed about sin. I started to harden my heart because I wanted to protect myself. I wanted to protect myself because I knew I was going to have a deeper conviction then the last time. My heart started beating fast because of what was in store to learn. Aaron told us that sin is not wrong behavior, but sin is independence. I was shocked that I have been "justifying myself" this whole time. I was in total conviction. I started to tear up because of how long I've been doing this. I always thought that I didn't go clubbing in a long time, or drink or anything worldly. I was fine, no sinning before my God. But I was wrong and I am in total conviction. Lord help me not let my emotions control me. Take over me & help me let you take full control of me: Litia Feagai Faitele.

Tama,
Faalogo mai au. Faamolemole. Faamagalo mai au. Faamolemole. sosoani mai au. Faamolemole. Faafetai lou alofa. Vi'ia oe. Amene.

Translation:
Father,
Listen to me. Please. Forgive me. Please. Help me. Please. Thank you for your love. Praise you. Amen.
Galatians 1:15-17
But when he who had set me apart before I was born, and who called me by his grace,was pleased to reveal his Son to me, in order that I might preach him among the Gentiles, I did not immediately consult with anyone; nor did I go up to Jerusalem to those who were apostles before me, but I went away into Arabia, and returned again to Damascus.

When God revealed, he didn't go and talk about it and have 'spiritual conversations' with someone about it. He left in obedience to what God told Him to do.

I have been so confused the past year or so about learning God and what he wants of me. A lot of that confusion has been in trying to decipher His call between amidst the still small prompts that He gives me, and me going around and blabbering about it with people. Thinking that I can go to spiritual director in hopes that he can explain it to me more clearly. sounds more like witchcraft than mentorship. I'm attracted to mentors more than I'm attracted to Jesus and I am seeing more clearly that God is not about being ambiguous with us. If I am willing to listen to him and him alone - He is clear in his beckoning.

Lord, I confess I've been so disobedient in this, I've made a fun, gossipy game about trying to discern what you're calling me - perhaps as a way to stall actually walking into something fully, and leaving myself behind. Would you change that God. Would you help clear the distractions so that I can come in and meet with you and you alone - and would you give me the strength and the boldness to walk according to whatever it is.

Take courage & continue to seek the Lord

MY DEVOS
"But you, take courage! Do not let your hands be weak, for your work shall be rewarded." - 2 Chronicles 15:7

This chapter talks about taking courage and seeking the Lord just as Azariah had spoken with king Asa along with his people. Everything is created by God and he left us with responsibilities. For he is the creator and we are the creation, we need to give him all the glory and credit by offering our hearts to him. Living a life that is purposeful and not clinging on to LAZINESS! Laziness does not get you anywhere & according to Proverbs 13:4, it says, "The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied" so if we are not working hard, we are not going to get anything in return. The type of life we act upon will show in result what type of life we live.

My life at this time has been all about receiving wisdom and knowledge from teachers, leaders and pastors but the one thing I need to work on is letting it be applicable to my life and living it out. Letting it process and really taking things seriously. These hands were not made to serve the ways of the world but is made to serve the Lord. I need to keep working hard and knowing that my citizenship is in heaven and knowing that that's my greatest reward.

Reconstruction


I realized a couple weeks ago that I must have a godly character like as, the keel of a boat. As a result, I have worked hard on that also I realized that I would work on that forever and It is completely fine because I am a "fallen image bearer".

Also, a godly character is the foundation in my understanding so far. My understanding can change in the coming weeks... I don't know ...hehhe... Anyway, a godly foundation has the purpose to develop relationships and gifts because Gifting, Relationship and Character should run together (Pastor John Tilton).

I can only accomplish these things when I rely on God because if I rely on my desire to develop these things means independence, which is the root of sin accordingly with what I learned this morning.

Do I make myself clear? I don't think so and it is not because my poor english. It is the result of all my questions..............

Three Rules

In the Fire Side Chat on Monday, we learned about three rules while growing up seeking to be in ministry. They are:

1. Seize every opportunity
We should take advantage of opportunities that come our way. They may provide us with a unique way to minister to people, or provide opportunities that we will never get again.

2. Be humble and respectful
Getting upset quickly, and being frustrated easily will get you no where in ministry. It comes with enough challenges on its own to make a big deal about smaller things. Respecting your leadership and being teachable will get you a long way.

3. Listen, Observe, Learn
Opening our mouth in every situation probably won't help. We need to listen to what is going on around us, and after sifting through all the information, we should then be slow of speech and say what we need to say well.

Fire Side Chats are one of my favorite parts about Legacy, because we get to learn so much from the people who went before us.

Hardships of Ministry

Today we had the opportunity to be part of the the staff meeting at New Hope Honolulu Campus. It started with a great worship time which was followed by weekly praise reports. Then the Holy Spirit led Pastor Elwin into talking about the hardships of ministry. He grabed two large boards, one on the left and the other on the right, and asked all the staff to say out loud all the things we “disliked about ministry.” Pastor Elwin recorded all these thoughts on the board on the left. With my surprise the board filled up quickly with all the honest things the staff disliked about doing ministry. Then Pastor Elwin asked us to say out loud all the rewards that come with ministry, and he recorded it on the right board. The right board was filled with encouragement and promises from God. Pastor Elwin continued explaining that there are a lot of things we dislike in ministry, but the rewards surpass all those things. With the help of the staff, we all came to the conclusion that ministry is a decision of obeying God’s calling. In order to get to victory you must have a battle! Ministry is not easy, but God’s rewards all greater. We don’t do ministry for God’s rewards, although by His grace we receive them, but because we choose to obey and follow! Pastor Elwin finished with scripture from Philippians 4:4-7 “ Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, bu prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."