Galatians 1:15-17
But when he who had set me apart before I was born, and who called me by his grace,was pleased to reveal his Son to me, in order that I might preach him among the Gentiles, I did not immediately consult with anyone; nor did I go up to Jerusalem to those who were apostles before me, but I went away into Arabia, and returned again to Damascus.
When God revealed, he didn't go and talk about it and have 'spiritual conversations' with someone about it. He left in obedience to what God told Him to do.
I have been so confused the past year or so about learning God and what he wants of me. A lot of that confusion has been in trying to decipher His call between amidst the still small prompts that He gives me, and me going around and blabbering about it with people. Thinking that I can go to spiritual director in hopes that he can explain it to me more clearly. sounds more like witchcraft than mentorship. I'm attracted to mentors more than I'm attracted to Jesus and I am seeing more clearly that God is not about being ambiguous with us. If I am willing to listen to him and him alone - He is clear in his beckoning.
Lord, I confess I've been so disobedient in this, I've made a fun, gossipy game about trying to discern what you're calling me - perhaps as a way to stall actually walking into something fully, and leaving myself behind. Would you change that God. Would you help clear the distractions so that I can come in and meet with you and you alone - and would you give me the strength and the boldness to walk according to whatever it is.
"So he shepherded them according to the integrity of his heart And guided them with his skillful hands." Psalm 78:72
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