Cracked Foundation

Today's class by Aaron Nunez was "different." When we started, the topic was Pastoral Care. Aaron told us that our time together would insist on critical thinking and ministry. We first listed down what the "ministry" was to us. We had a pretty decent list of ministry. Then Aaron wiped it off the board and wrote, "when the Holy Spirit moves." That alone, made me feel bare or stripped of all I knew. I always knew how ministry was portrayed, but wow this one was like a eye opener. Then we made a list on the word "Pastor." Again we had another long list. Then Aaron told us about gifts and callings. He told us about how people use those two words as if they have the same meaning. Then we discussed about what is a Pastor. Now, I am just taking this all in. Pastors are referred to as shepherds, and I discovered its not the physical appearance, rather the unconditional care they have for their "one missing sheep." In our ten-minute break, I realized my foundation had cracked and fell apart. Wow, it was hard for me to grasp what had just happened. It was hard because I wanted to be a Pastor, but after this first class I was cracked. But I had done devotion yesterday (05/31/11) and I had read Proverbs 17:3, "Fire tests the purity of silver and gold, but the Lord tests the heart." And today was when the Lord tested my heart, to see if I would still trust in Him about my calling in ministry. God is good and will help me prevail and continue to lead me. In His timing, He will give me an answer.