some questions on balance

Tj and I were talking yesterday, and he said something that struck me.
In regards to discipleship, "You can get to a right place, but if other sheep aren't coming with you, what's the point?"

What are the use of

disciples

who sit in a monastery for their entire life?

Transforming towards Christlikeness is the best thing we can do in life, right?
But where is the balance between investing in our relationship with God but also trying to help others grow. Is it ok to say often, "No i'm just gonna spend time with God." Do we overstep the call of an others/Kingdom-focused life when we choose to withdrawal so that we can be filled and that we can be discipled by God privately? Selfishly?

Is there an appropriateness to forfeiting personal joy in God to willingly go back into darkness to make sure other sheep are growing too? (what about the Christian Hedonist and the argument that the sole purpose of existence is to worship God and enjoy Him) Are we supposed to sacrifice our energy towards growing in oneness with Christ so that others can make steps in their relationship with Him? Is that denying ourselves? Will our truly transformed lives result in divine strength and a divine draw towards others?

Shepherding seems draining in this light. It makes me admire Jesus. how frustrated must he have been in the garden when the disciples kept falling asleep and weren't aware of the seriousness of what was approaching. For Him to have the intimacy with the Father that He did, it must have been so challenging to put up with those who weren't on the same page as Him.
How excited do we get when we can have a conversation with someone who is in a similar season as us? When we are able to discuss and share and grow in the forefront things that God is showing us and revealing to us along our journey. Those are exciting. But it's hard for me to desire to go have a conversation with someone who's not there yet (and that statement even sounds prideful).

God I'm so sorry that I'm so obsessed with my growth and what I'm learning about you. Will you show me the balance you would have me walk in this.