Dependence

Last week Tuesday, I was asked at the youth leaders meeting if God was pressing anything on my heart that I would like to speak on this past Sunday. I remember studying about Hebrews 12 and it really being in my head all week so I agreed.

I prepped my message from Tuesday all the way till Saturday when I met with one of the youth leaders Keane to go over my message and make sure I was ready for it. After meeting with him, I was pretty much set and was just about to finish it up. As I am just about to put the final touches on it, God speaks to me and says that the message that I am working on is not what I am to speak on. He then goes on to reveal to me what I am to speak about, which was about how he has been weakening me so that I may depend on Him more for strength.

So here I am, at 10 at night, I am trying to listen to God as He is telling me I have to start afresh, frustrated and slightly upset that He's telling me this. I was crying out to Him and asking Him why did He do this to me and yet in the midst of this I hear the verse that God told me to teach on ministering to me. It said, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness. Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong."

At last, at 2 in the morning, God reveals to me the whole content of the message and I am able to go to sleep. Just before I got up to preach in the morning, I asked God to use my message even though it wasn't what I wanted it to look like. So I preached, and I thought it went alright; however, I was approached by one of the small group leaders afterwards who said I did amazing. She said that through the message I was really able to connect with some of the girls in her group and one of them actually started crying because of a revelation she received through what I said.

It is amazing to see what God did through me when I sacrificed what I wanted to do and to speak on and surrendered it to Him. Many times throughout the hours of 10pm and 2am I wanted to revert back to what I was originally going to speak on, but I ultimately decided to trust in Him, and through it someone's life was transformed. Thank you Jesus for showing your strength even in my weakness.